PART TWO: COMING HOME TO SELF
Speaking with a friend over coffee and cake we found ourselves discussing points along our respective life paths when we have experienced something numinous, sacred, otherworldly, unitive in nature. These moments/passages in time were so elevating they impressed themselves deeply into our being and we never forgot them. They signposted turning points or significant revelatory insights that meant we were not able to remain unchanged. These initiatory experiences often left impressions that were felt on a broad bandwidth of sensation and ones sense of ‘self’ was expanded beyond previous comprehension. Recalling these times left lingering imprints of my own initiatory experiences that I decided I wanted to write about their purpose, the glory and gifts of accepting the quest once called to Initiation.
Initiatory experiences have the potential to dislodge all known structures from their footings; cast up into the heavens, blown to smitherines and dispersed into unfamiliar fragments. Not everything returns and most are not in any recognisable form. These ‘tower’ experiences bring tremendous destabilisation as everything you may have built around you for comfort, security and reassurance are often the first structures (relationships; identity; career paths; ideological positions) to disassemble. Disintegration has a negative reputation given our cultures preoccupation with all things contained and predicable and yet without it the innate evolutionary rhythms of natural forms would not prevail.
We are such forms, as human beings we may find ourselves caught up in phenomena that defies logic and asks us to contemplate and stretch out beyond our skin encapsulated egos to fathom something sacred, albeit unnerving, purposefully interwoven into our lives.
In the wake of such Initiations, I wonder if we, the ones experiencing such exaltation are often left with more questions than answers.
Hungry hearts and yearning souls scramble to find solid ground amongst the debris of catalytic events, ready to revert and tether to what is familiar and known; to exercise control over the forces that are playing out, wreaking havoc upon our nicely orchestrated existences.
Be forewarned some Initiatory experiences are foretold events intersecting at pivotal points. A cluster of experiences spanning many months could’ve warned me of the potential vesuviuan forces to be unleashed upon my unwitting human self. A lucid dream, an exploration of the Divine Feminine and a soul summoning decree spoken out aloud punctuated the events that culminated in a super sonic two and half year chapter of irrevocable change and revelation. I knew that what was occurring to me was ordained and divinely purposeful and subsequently has set the trajectory of my life ever since. My initiation into Sacred Union/ Heirogamy was written into the recesses of my psyche and were ignited by a person who unwittingly became a protagonist within my life story. The God spark/Shakti/Kundalini energy that lays dormant in our subtle bodies ruptured within me and set a fire path that I was often left in the wake of; clamouring to remain intact whilst ravaged by heightened senses and a state of effulgence that left me speechless, sleepless and stripped bare. Something out of this world was happening to me and it defied all reasoning and laws of nature as I knew them to be. I was repeatedly brought to my knees and thrown out into states of bliss and expanded states of consciousness. I took the baton handed to me and ran with it knowing that this was a threshold and I was 'crossing the Rubicon’; where to I had no idea all I had was a knowing that I was coming home ~to Myself.
